A letter to me before you

Do you ever look back and think how different you were before becoming a mom? If you could go back in time and give yourself some advice before entering motherhood what would you say? I’ve linked up with some other mamas and we’ve all written a letter to our pre-mama selves doing just that. When you’re finished reading mine, head to the bottom of this post and read their versions of “A letter to me before you”.

 

Dear mama,

Yes you, I’m talking to you. You’re a real ball of fire. You’ve worked so hard to reach academic success and now you’re a hard-working career woman, bringing home the bacon. But you know how to have fun too. There’s lots of nights out for drinks after work, brunches on the weekend, and boy do you shop til you drop. You take pride in yourself, putting yourself first. You enjoy living carefree and having no commitments.

You’re still not quite sure you’re cut out for the motherhood thing. Trust me, you’ll know when it’s time and it’s the best thing that will ever happen to you.  And when it is time, you’ll have to work really hard at it, but you’ve always persevered.  With a little help from science, it will happen. From that moment on, your whole life will change. And there’s no greater joy than watching as a life grows inside you.

The minute you see your husband holding your new baby your heart just swells. You’ll go home with that little bundle and when the sleepless nights hit and the monotony of maternity leave sinks in think to yourself “what have I done?” But you’ll get through it. You’re not used to asking for help, but that’s what family is for.

Some days, you won’t even recognize yourself. You will look in the mirror one day and see that you have morphed into a totally different person, one who’s been wearing that same pair of leggings for a week and with spit up on your shirt. But it’s the best version of you. Don’t get hung up on those stretchmarks and deflated breasts. Those are your reminder of what an incredible miracle your body grew.

Don’t worry about being perfect. Your son will remind you daily that he doesn’t want the perfect mom, he wants you. He doesn’t care if your house is clean, or that the sink is full of dirty dishes. Hold him as long as you want, everything else can wait. And when he wants you to get down on the floor and play with him, just play. He will teach you not to take life too seriously.  That smile of his and that musical laugh, there’s no better sound in the world and you will do anything to make him laugh again, just so you can hear it.

When it’s time to go back to work, your heart will feel like it’s being torn. But you’ll learn to balance career and family.  And now, your priorities have changed. There will be no greater sense of pride or accomplishment than when you see your son do something new for the first time. Or when you come home from a long day at work and he runs over to you and throws his arms around you and says “I wuv you mama”. And as you cuddle on the couch, all of the day’s stresses just melt away. Because this is all that truly matters.

And when it’s time for baby #2, you’ll think to yourself “how could I love another baby as much as the first?” and a whole nother set of worries will appear. But you’ll manage and figure it out, just like you did the first time. Because if there’s anything motherhood has taught you, it’s that you’re flexible, yet resilient.

By far, becoming a mom is the greatest gift. You will truly find yourself in motherhood. And while you may not be the same woman you once were, loving another little human more than you could possibly love yourself is your greatest success.