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3 In health/ intentional living/ Motherhood

10 ways I practice self care daily since becoming a mom

There is no job more exhausting than being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, it’s extremely rewarding but it’s also downright exhausting. All of our energy goes into caring for our families and making sure everyone is healthy and happy. As mom’s it’s natural we’re always doing for everyone else that so often our own self care takes the back burner. But it’s like they say when you board the plane “put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others”. What good are you to everyone else if you’re not at 100% yourself?

If you go on the internet, you’ll see the term “self-care” all over. But self-care is more than just massages and bubble baths. (I love those things as much as the next woman trust me.) Self care is anything that re-fuels or re-charges you, mentally, physically or spiritually so that you can continue to give your best self. I’m sharing some simple ways you can add self care to your day to day routine.

Here are 10 ways I practice self care daily since becoming a mom:

1.) Enjoy a cup of hot coffee or tea by yourself – That first morning cup of coffee, alone and in silence, it’s sacred. That’s my me-time. My husband knows that if he or my son happen to wake up early, to stay in bed and give me my time alone.

2.) Get dressed in the morning – I don’t get all fancy, but putting on jeans and a top, doing my hair and throwing on some concealer and mascara makes me feel like a decent human. Think of when you were on maternity leave, hadn’t showered in a week and wore that same pair of leggings for the 5th day in a row how you felt. The power of a hot shower, real clothes and a little makeup does wonders for your mental health.

3.) Clean or organize something – For me, having a clean home is like my xanax. Now, don’t get confused, my house is in no way spotless. I’m not on my hands and knees scrubbing or vacuuming every day (that’s why I have a Roomba). But daily I go through our common living spaces and put things away to get rid of the clutter and keep it organized. Looking at things scattered around my house makes my brain feel scattered and anxious vs when things are orderly bringing a sense of calm.

4.) Cook or bake something – For some people this may seem like more work so if that’s you, then don’t do it. I love being in my kitchen. On my days off I love to either bake a yummy treat to have in the house (try my version of Joanna Gaines’ lemon poppyseed bread) or try a new recipe for dinner. It’s fun for me and makes me feel like I accomplished something.

5.) Practice gratitude – Each morning, usually during my morning coffee, I think about the things that I am grateful for and everything I have. When things start to go a little sideways, I bring myself back to that mental list and remind myself of all I have to be thankful for.

6.) Read a book or listen to a podcast – Reading is one of my absolute favorite things to do. I love to lay down with a good book and flip through the pages, getting lost in the story. It doesn’t have to be a book. You can read a magazine or a few articles from a favorite blog. I love The EveryMom and Nesting With Grace. You can also listen to a favorite podcast.

7.) Do some goal setting or daydream – I do this during my morning coffee (see why that time is so sacred?). Sometimes it’s just daydreaming about a nice vacation or thinking about projects I want to do around the house to make our home my dream home. Other mornings it’s literally writing down things that I want to accomplish that day.

8.) Laugh – whether it’s laughing at myself or something my son said or did, I try to find the humor in daily situations.

9.) Say No – This was something I was lucky to learn a few years ago at a time when I felt like I was being stretched too thin. I’m a natural people pleaser and I like to make people happy. But if it doesn’t make you happy or stresses you out, it’s ok to say no to things.

10.) Go to bed early – Nothing recharges you like a good night’s sleep which since entering motherhood is few and far between. A couple night’s a week, I go to bed early before anyone else, leaving my hubby to do bedtime duty. I’ve been doing this since I was in college. When I was home from school it was a little joke with my parents that “I was retreating for the night”. But that’s just what it is, my retreat. Some nights I read or meditate or doing nothing at all and just let my mind veg out. It’s a nice way to end the day and quiet the mind from all the constant thinking and worrying.

What are some of your favorite ways to practice self care?

Check out my post on

Why Every Mom Needs a Solo Night Away

10 self care ideas for moms

May 10, 2019 By Nicolle

7 In Motherhood

A letter to me before you

Do you ever look back and think how different you were before becoming a mom? If you could go back in time and give yourself some advice before entering motherhood what would you say? I’ve linked up with some other mamas and we’ve all written a letter to our pre-mama selves doing just that. When you’re finished reading mine, head to the bottom of this post and read their versions of “A letter to me before you”.

Dear mama,

Yes you, I’m talking to you. You’re a real ball of fire. You’ve worked so hard to reach academic success and now you’re a hard-working career woman, bringing home the bacon. But you know how to have fun too. There’s lots of nights out for drinks after work, brunches on the weekend, and boy do you shop til you drop. You take pride in yourself, putting yourself first. You enjoy living carefree and having no commitments.

You’re still not quite sure you’re cut out for the motherhood thing. Trust me, you’ll know when it’s time and it’s the best thing that will ever happen to you. And when it is time, you’ll have to work really hard at it, but you’ve always persevered. With a little help from science, it will happen. From that moment on, your whole life will change. And there’s no greater joy than watching as a life grows inside you.

The minute you see your husband holding your new baby your heart just swells. You’ll go home with that little bundle and when the sleepless nights hit and the monotony of maternity leave sinks in think to yourself “what have I done?” But you’ll get through it. You’re not used to asking for help, but that’s what family is for.

Some days, you won’t even recognize yourself. You will look in the mirror one day and see that you have morphed into a totally different person, one who’s been wearing that same pair of leggings for a week and with spit up on your shirt. But it’s the best version of you. Don’t get hung up on those stretchmarks and deflated breasts. Those are your reminder of what an incredible miracle your body grew.

Don’t worry about being perfect. Your son will remind you daily that he doesn’t want the perfect mom, he wants you. He doesn’t care if your house is clean, or that the sink is full of dirty dishes. Hold him as long as you want, everything else can wait. And when he wants you to get down on the floor and play with him, just play. He will teach you not to take life too seriously. That smile of his and that musical laugh, there’s no better sound in the world and you will do anything to make him laugh again, just so you can hear it.

When it’s time to go back to work, your heart will feel like it’s being torn. But you’ll learn to balance career and family. And now, your priorities have changed. There will be no greater sense of pride or accomplishment than when you see your son do something new for the first time. Or when you come home from a long day at work and he runs over to you and throws his arms around you and says “I wuv you mama”. And as you cuddle on the couch, all of the day’s stresses just melt away. Because this is all that truly matters.

And when it’s time for baby #2, you’ll think to yourself “how could I love another baby as much as the first?” and a whole nother set of worries will appear. But you’ll manage and figure it out, just like you did the first time. Because if there’s anything motherhood has taught you, it’s that you’re flexible, yet resilient.

By far, becoming a mom is the greatest gift. You will truly find yourself in motherhood. And while you may not be the same woman you once were, loving another little human more than you could possibly love yourself is your greatest success.

March 21, 2019 By Nicolle

0 In csection/ Motherhood/ pregnancy

Maxwell’s birth story

As a labor and delivery nurse, I think it’s natural that I love reading and hearing about other people’s birth stories. They are each so different and so beautiful.

I have thought for a long time about sharing Maxwell’s birth story. At first, it wasn’t one that I was proud to share as it wasn’t the birth I had hoped for. But over time I’ve learned that every story is different and truly it doesn’t matter whether you had your baby vaginally or by csection. Two years later and as I prepare to bring baby #2 into the world, I’m finally getting to it. (#procrastinatorsunite)

So here goes…

My birth story is not at all what I had envisioned when I first got pregnant. I had hopes of going into labor naturally on my own and seeing how far my body could go and what it could do. I dreamed of a delivery where I would work my butt off but it would all be worth it in the end when they placed my baby on my chest for my husband and I to marvel at this miracle we created. But that wasn’t the birth experience I was given.

At about 35 weeks pregnant, I started showing signs of preeclampsia. My legs were swollen, I was spilling protein in my urine and my blood pressure was elevated. I had mentioned it to one of the OB’s at my appointment and explained that my mom also had a history of preeclampsia and that I was concerned. The doctor pretty much brushed it off, told me to eat more protein and lay off the carbs. I left feeling like my concerns were not being heard, and deep down I knew to trust the voice in my head.

At my 36 week appointment I saw another OB in the group. My blood pressure was still elevated, and I still had protein in my urine so she decided to run further lab work. I went to the lab for my testing and they explained that since it was Friday, they wouldn’t have the results until Monday.

That weekend, I started having awful headaches and just felt like something was off. Monday morning came around and I logged into my online portal where patients could check the results of their labs and have access to all of their medical records. My lab work showed that my protein-creatinine ratio was 0.3 which was borderline. I called the office and left a message with the nurse that I wanted one of the OB’s to call me back to discuss my results.

The next day, Tuesday, I still hadn’t heard back from the doctor I had seen on Friday. I was working at the hospital that day and texted my favorite OB in my practice and told him I wanted to discuss some things with him. He happened to be on his way into the hospital and we agreed to talk when he got there. I explained my labs and my symptoms and he scheduled me to see him in the office the next morning. The next day at my appointment, my blood pressure was 150s/90s, my legs, arms and face were swollen. Overall, I felt like crap, and I kept getting headaches on and off. We decided that while everything looked fine with the baby on ultrasound, it would be safer to head into the hospital for induction.

I remember we were driving home to go pack my bags and get the dog to bring to my parents and I had this overwhelming sense of anxiety. I just felt like something was going to go wrong and I was upset that this was not happening the way I wanted it to.

So off to the hospital we went, it was Wednesday and I was 37 weeks and 2 days. My cervix was pretty thick and only a fingertip dilated so I spent the first night and the next day getting cervical ripening to help make my cervix favorable for pitocin. On Friday when my OB came in, my cervix was only 1 cm dilated and about 80% effaced. My OB wanted to break my water and start pitocin. I mentioned trying a foley balloon instead to which he said “he didn’t think that was a good idea” as I also didn’t want a prolonged induction. So they broke my water and started pitocin. In hindsight I wish I advocated for myself more but what’s that saying? “Shoulda, coulda, woulda”.

I’m not sure how long it was after that, but it didn’t feel like a long time, I soon started kicking into labor. My contractions felt like one was coming after another and I felt like I wasn’t getting a break. I got my epidural and shortly after, Maxwell’s heart rate had one prolonged decel that felt like an eternity. My OB came in to check me and I was only 5-6cms. We tried repositioning side to side but it wasn’t coming back up to baseline. I don’t know how long it lasted, but the next thing I knew we were going right back to the OR.

Once we were in the OR, it all happened very quickly. Next thing I knew, the baby was out and I heard my OB say “it’s a boy!” and he handed him off to the baby nurse. When they brought him over to me, I felt relieved that he was here and healthy but I was still in shock of how everything had happened.

Back in the recovery room, I started having feelings like I couldn’t breathe and just this overwhelming sense of doom. Anesthesia and my OB both came back to see me and agreed it was probably from the epidural and maybe my level was too high. Looking back now, I know that it was a panic attack.

I went home from the hospital with feelings of guilt from having a c-section and not being able to do it naturally. Should I just have kept quiet and let things happen naturally? But what if I ended up having a seizure or stroke? Did my OB jump the gun by going back to the OR? If we waited a little bit longer, would his heart rate have come back up and would I have ended up with the delivery I envisioned? My husband tried to help by saying “you have a healthy baby and you’re healthy, what more could you ask for?” But I wasn’t healthy mentally. I didn’t want to hold my baby, I would cry when I had to breastfeed him, and at night I would stare at him obsessively to make sure he was still breathing.

I was 10 months postpartum when all of my feelings came to a head. I literally wanted to run outside of my body and run away somewhere. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I knew it wasn’t right. I decided to go on anxiety medication and made a few appointments with a therapist. After a few sessions I realized my anxiety was due to feeling like I wasn’t in control of my own birth experience and feeling guilty for not being able to have a vaginal delivery and breastfeed.

Almost 2 and a half years later and I can say I still feel like that birth experience was robbed from me but in the long run does it matter? The answer is no. My son is the healthiest, happiest, most loving soul and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

However, this time around, I’ve changed OBGYN practices where I feel 110% supported and where I can play a more active role in my experience.

February 24, 2019 By Nicolle

11 In Motherhood/ pregnancy/ Support

30 Things your Labor & Delivery Nurse wants you to know

It has been absolutely balls to the walls at work the past few weeks (thanks to Valentine’s Day and the release of 50 Shades Darker 9 months ago – hello job security!) By the end of the day I’m starving, haven’t peed, my feet ache, I’m cranky to my husband and I’ve been away from my son for over 12 hours, but I still go back to work wanting more. Why? Because I have the best job in the world. Don’t get me wrong, when it’s a bad day, it’s a horrible, unimaginable bad day. But I feel so privileged to be a part of so many women’s lives, through the highs and the lows.

Here are 30 things your labor and delivery nurse wants you to know:

1.) Whether your baby comes out the vagina or you had a c-section – it doesn’t make you any more or less of a mother.
2.) Same goes for whether you went all natural or had an epidural – it doesn’t make your baby any different.
3.) But if it’s your goal to go all natural we will bust our butts to help get you there.
4.) We’ve seen all sorts of vaginas and they’re all different, And we won’t remember what yours looked like.
5.) Being upright is your best friend – walk, get on the birth ball, dance. Whatever you do don’t just lay in bed.
6.) Babies don’t come with handles, we can’t just yank them out.
7.) Breast or formula, it’s up to you, fed is best!
8.) Nipples – they come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
9.) We may tell you you’re 8-9 cms, there’s a good bet your fully dilated, but we know its best for you and your baby if we let you labor down.
10.) There’s alot of swelling that goes on down there so don’t be surprised if yours looks like a ciabatta roll the next day. We can make you a magical diaper pack with ice, witch hazel and dermoplast
11.) We have no problem kicking all your family and friends out of the room so you can rest, have some private time with your partner or if they’re simply driving you crazy!
12.) When you came through our doors and there was no heartbeat, please know as soon as we walked out to our car we burst into tears and cried the whole way home.
13.) And when we got home we didn’t say a word to our families that night we just hugged our babies tight.
14.) We still pray for you and think of you.
15.) If you come in with a birth plan, we’ll start prepping for your c-section because nothing ever goes to plan.
16.) If you’re a redhead, we will have every anti-hemmorrhage medication in the room and the hemorrhage cart outside the door because there’s a good chance you are going to bleed out on us and we want to ward off any bad juju.
17.) There is no evidence based research as to the benefits of consuming your placenta – just because the Kardashians did it doesn’t make it right.
18.) We don’t care that you lost your mucus plug and no we don’t want to see.
19.) Just because you’re 1-2 cms dilated or one day past your due date doesn’t mean your in labor – go home and labor in the comfort of your own home where you can eat and drink.
20) Also you’re not in active labor until you’re 5-6 cms dilated so don’t listen to those people that tell you they were in labor for 72 hours.
21.) Also being pregnant does not entitle you to be excused from work so don’t ask for a work note – We work 12 hour days on our feet holding heavy epiduralized legs pushing with our patients for 4 hours without eating or drinking and often times work right up until we deliver.
22.) We probably haven’t peed since before we left our house for work that day.
23.) And there’s a good chance we haven’t eaten either unless a family brings us food.
24.) Our families sacrifice alot – were gone most weekends and holidays and at work from sun up until sun down so please don’t be rude.
25.) Make sure your partner or support person stays hydrated and fed – we don’t have time to pick them up off the floor.
26.) Laboring in the shower, tub or on the toilet can do wonders.
27.) We may contort you into a bunch of crazy different positions that we know have successfully worked to get someone to deliver.
28.) Being in labor and something about new babies brings out the crazy in some people and their families. We’ve seen it all and nothing surprises us anymore.
29.) You have a right to ask questions and refuse anything. And we will advocate for you.
30.) We still think birth is magical and we have the best jobs in the world.

30 things your labor nurse wants you to know

October 28, 2017 By Nicolle

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