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8 ways to reconnect with your significant other after baby

couple kissing on the counter having a date night
Thank you to The Shaker and Vine for sponsoring this post

After our son was born, I resented my husband. Like majorly. He got to go to work and communicate with adults while I stayed home and washed laundry and bottles all day.  When I was up breastfeeding the baby in the middle of the night, he was snoring soundly. He didn’t understand the baby’s different cries and sometimes it was easier for me to just do things myself. Some days our only form of communication with each other was sighing when one of us would go to change the baby and we were out of diapers again.

That’s not to say he didn’t help me. He was a huge help, especially when we had our second baby. He kept the oldest occupied so I could tend to our youngest and recover from my csection. But I still held some feelings of resentment towards him. Our relationship had changed and I often felt like we were living on two different planets.  This feeling of disconnect after baby is more common than you think. Blame it on hormones, lack of sleep and just having to adjust to new roles but it’s something that every couple faces to an extent after having a baby.

Around the time I was 6 months postpartum and we were out of that new baby season, we decided we needed to make a conscious effort to reconnect with each other and work on our marriage. I’m sharing some easy ways to reconnect with your significant other. Read on below.

Here are 8 ways to reconnect with your significant other after baby:

1.) Go to bed at the same time – Bedtime is a time for couples to talk and be intimate. That time after we’ve put the kids to bed and it’s just us is often the only peace and quiet we get. In addition, it’s also been shown that couples that go to bed at the same time together, sleep better.

2.) Touch each other – hug, hold hands or give each other a massage. Even high-fiving each other after a tough parenting moment can make you feel connected.

3.) Have a date night – Sometimes we put the kids to bed early and sit on the couch with a glass of wine or a beer. Other times, we get someone to watch the kids and go out.

When we do go out, our favorite place is The Shaker and Vine in Schenectady. Located on the Mohawk Harbor it’s a cool self-serve wine bar. The hubby and I just went last weekend for a long overdue date night. A couple of glasses of wine, a charcuterie board and cheesecake sampler later,  we were back to laughing and reminiscing about when we met in our college days. It was just what we needed.

charcuterie board at Shaker and Vine in Schenectady

 

Couple out for a date at Shaker and Vine in Schenectady

The Shaker and Vine has given me a $25 gift card to giveaway to one of my followers. Head to my Instagram to see how to win!

4.) Block out some screen-free time – Schedule some time in your day or your week for “no screen time”. That means no tv’s, no phones, no tablets or technology. Being present with each other not only enhances communication but it also makes each other feel like a priority.

5.) Create your bucket list as a couple – Sharing your goals or dreams that you have for each other and as a couple can help you get to learn about each other more and connect.

6.) Do something active together – whether it be going to the gym together or on a hike, exercise gets your endorphins going.

7.) Learn each other’s Love Language – When we first started dating, I read the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. The book describes that there are 5 ways that people feel love – either by touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, or receiving gifts. You can take the quiz here to learn about which type you and your partner are.

8.) Find a mutual hobby that doesn’t revolve around the kids – Find something that the two of you enjoy doing as a couple. Not only does this give you the opportunity to find something you’re both passionate about, it’s also a common ground that doesn’t revolve around the kids. Rick and I enjoy doing projects together around the house. I usually get the idea, Rick does the work, and then I add my personal touch to finish it off.  Seeing our finished product that we created together makes us feel like a team.  (Some of our previous projects include whitewashing our fireplace and these DIY engineer prints).

 

I hope you find these little tips helpful for you and your significant other to re-connect. It’s easy to let our relationships take the backseat when we become parents but our relationship should be a priority too!

And don’t forget if you’re local, be sure to check out my Instagram for a chance to win a $25 gift card to The Shaker and Vine.

 

8 ways to reocnnect after baby

 

0 In marriage/ relationships

Dear Husband, Thank You

Dear Husband,

It is our anniversary. And on our special day, I wanted to say “thank you”.  Because I don’t say it enough. And I know that me sharing this on the internet may make you squirm in your seat but in this busy season of life and parenthood I may not have a chance to sit down and tell you.

First, thank you for giving me a chance. I know when we first met, I may not have given the best first impression. Thank you for sweeping me off of my feet when I wasn’t looking for love.

Thank you for taking those dance lessons I begged you for before our wedding even though you needed some liquid courage.

Thank you for letting me steal the covers and take up 75% of our bed every night. I appreciate your selflessness as you cling to the edge of the mattress so that I can have a good night’s sleep.

Thank you for carrying in all of the groceries.  I’ve never known anyone to fit so many bags on each arm and carry them all in at once.

Thank you for just really getting me. You know that when I come home and whip off my bra and put on that certain pair of yoga pants and your old t-shirt it means I’ve had a rough day. Without a single thought you go out and get my favorite ice cream (chocolate peanut butter cup) and put on Law and Order SVU reruns so that I can decompress.

Speaking of tv, thank you for all the times you’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy, HGTV and all of the Real Housewives with me. Although, I think you secretly enjoy them.

Thank you for putting up with all of my quirks. Like how I load the dishwasher,  have certain towels that are for decor and that you can actually use, and how I turn into a trucker when I get behind someone who is driving too slow.

Thank you for working so hard for our family so that I could stay home longer with our son and be the type of mother I’ve always envisioned.  All of those hours, it does not go unnoticed.

Thank you for understanding that I need my “me time” and never giving me a hard time when I need a solo trip to Target or a glass of wine with a friend.

And when I’m looking for a fight and say some words, thank you for just biting your tongue and walking away (although at the time I may want you to fight back and nothing infuriates me more than your silence.) Thank you for your forgiveness.

Thank you for loving me through my dark times and even though you may not always understand, for your patience and your listening ear.

Thank you for telling me how beautiful I am when I ask if I look fat and for truly still seeing me as the girl you fell in love with.

Thank you for doing all of those things I did not even have to ask. Like filling up my gas tank when you move my car and see it’s empty, picking up that pile of crap we’ve been walking past on the stairs, and taking out the trash.

Thank you for being an incredible father.  From helping with diaper duty, to bath time and our morning marathons trying to get everyone ready and out the door, you do it all with ease. I love the way you get down on the floor and play with our son as you soon as you get home from work, still in your work clothes. And how excited you get showing him different trucks, tractors, and trains. And no one else looks cuter singing Baby Shark (Doo Doo Doo Doo).


Thank you for being my person. The one that I want to talk to about my day.  The one who believes in me, fights for me and always supports me.

You ‘re still sweeping me off of my feet.
Happy Anniversary.

Love,
me XoXo